Jennifer Townley  ~ Filling the Nest Through Adoption

 

There are so many ways to build a family; the “old fashioned way”, kinship care, foster care, step-parenting, adoption.  For some the process is easy, for others it is a long, sometimes painful odyssey.

 

Jennifer and her husband, Ed, have chosen international adoption as the means by which to build their family.  Adoptions can also be domestic (within the United States), but through Jennifer’s sister, and her sister’s work in Romania, Ed and Jennifer chose to adopt from Romania…twice.

 

In addition to domestic and international, adoption can be further categorized into open or closed.  Open adoptions allow the birth parents and adoptive parents to know each other; the birth mother makes the decision of who will adopt her baby.  In a closed adoption the birth parents and the adoptive parents have no contact.

 

In both cases, the child’s records are completely closed when they move from birth family to adoptive family.  While the child’s name may not change, they, in effect, get a new identity.

 

In the beginning, Jennifer’s husband was dead-set against adoption.  But, things change.  During a missions trip to Romania, to visit her sister, Jennifer experienced life in a Romanian orphanage.  She found it to be “disturbingly quiet” in the state-run orphanage that she visited.  It was jail-like in appearance, but the staff was clearly doing the best they could with the resources that they had.

 

Jennifer was moved by this experience and, after a change of heart, Ed and Jennifer began the process to adopt a little boy.  Over the course of several years they would navigate the politically challenging waters of Romanian adoption.  It took some patience, but eventually they would adopt a second son from Romania.

 

Whether the adoption is domestic or international, open or closed, most of the process is the same.  There are forms to fill out, interviews, home studies, and background checks.  In the case of international adoption, there may also be at least one trip to the country from which the adoption will take place.

 

It is important, in the adoption process, to research agencies and choose the one that best fits you and your family.  It is also important to be prepared for delays (particularly with international adoptions where they may be political barriers) and health issues with your child.

 

The adoption process has taught Jennifer acceptance; acceptance of herself, of life and what it brings, and of others.

 

With the challenges that her oldest son faces (emotional, academic), Jennifer has learned to find joy in the everyday, the little things.  She has learned to appreciate his abilities (and her own) rather than stress and worry about his weaknesses, and she can revel in his little victories, and rejoice in small successes.