Donna S. - Teaching Your Children Self-Control

 

With five boys in the house, the Shaw family deals with self-control issues every single day.

 

Self-control is the control of ones actions, impulses, and reactions.  This self-control is so important for our children to learn.  And it’s much easier to learn it when the lessons are small rather than later when the lessons are big, painful, and costly.

 

Donna Sue shares several stories; one is of a nine-year-old boy who does not know the meaning of NO, STOP, HOT, or SHARP because his mom has anticipated his every action before it happens, he has never known pain, or wanted for anything.

 

Or there’s the twelve-year-old boy who is known by peers and teachers as the Class Clown.  He has never been held accountable for his actions and no one has ever made him mind.  Or the sixteen-year-old girl with many sex partners who smokes dope, carries a cell phone, drives a nice car, and has dates every weekend, whose parents don’t keep track of where she is, who she’s with, or where she’s going.

 

These are kids out of control, and they are real kids.  If they look like this as children, just imagine what they will look like as adults.

 

How do we teach self-control to our children?  The Shaw family uses goals to guide their actions.  Goals can help you to persevere through the dark days of mothering.  Donna Sue’s goal for her boys is greatness.

 

If your goal is for your kids to get through high school without doing drugs and not getting anyone pregnant (or getting pregnant), then you have a reasonable chance of success without much effort.  But for most of us this is not enough.  For Donna Sue, this is not enough.  She wants her sons to grow up to be great men who live humbly and trust God.  This is a fantastic goal that requires deliberate planning by parents.

 

In the Bible, Micah 6:8 says, “He has showed you, O man, what is good.  And what does the Lord require of you?  To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God”.  Having these qualities requires self-control.

 

How do we get from out-of-control to greatness?

 

Having the goal of greatness has kept Donna Sue from being a lazy parent.  Please don't miss the opportunity to see beyond the moment into the future.  What you teach your children now will set the tone for their future.

 

·        Set a goal for greatness and share it with your kids.  Kids won't make choices to make their parents look good, but they will strive for God.

·        Be a good example.  When you do something wrong, be an example of humility and ask for forgiveness.

·        Use others as teaching tools.  Kids are good at seeing bad behavior in others. Use this to teach them.  Also use examples of good behavior.

·        Expose children to the young and old.  Let them learn from older and younger siblings, playmates, and adults.

·        Don't cushion every blow.  Kids need to have the opportunity to suffer the consequences of their actions.

·        Press on.  Don’t give up.  Don't let life wear you down.

 

Donna Sue shares the story of a Biblical character named Peter.  When Peter found himself in a storm he could only press onward as long as he kept his eyes on the Lord, as soon as he looked away he began to sink.

 

Donna Sue shared about her son Peter.  Peter has more energy than any one child should ever have; he is an animal, controlling his body has always been a problem.  It was always easy to know who Peter loved; they were often bruised.

He was affectionate to the point of suffocation.  He was adventurous.  He is solely responsible for every gray hair on Donna Sue’s head.  He has gradually learned, through intentional parenting, how to use self-control.

 

Remembering the goal, Donna Sue has been able to press on.  Peter is an amazing young man and she is thankful that she did not give up on him becoming a great man.

 

We shouldn’t give up either.